Question by toothpaste: How do I deal with anger management?
I think I have an anger management problem. How do I deal with this?
Best answer:
Answer by StarsEnd
First off-Do NOT get into a relationship if you have this problem. If you are in a relationship, get out.
Seek classes and read all you can on it.
Give your answer to this question below!
The stress test will show you how relaxed you really are. Remember, the weakest link is YOU!
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A selection of treatments follow: If you can’t deal with it by using one of the techniques, such as counting backwards from 20, to 1, (and prevent you from allowing yourself to become angry, in the first place) is important to express that anger appropriately, at the time, and to the person who caused it, if possible, or immediately afterwards. If not, maybe by walking away later, and bellowing your rage and/or frustration. In some situations, such as work, or school, it might be better to cover your mouth with a cupped hand, bandanna/handkerchief, or use the crook of your elbow, to muffle the sound. Some people find that it helps to journal those thoughts, and emotions soon afterwards.
Anger, which is repressed, rather than healthily expressed, tends to fester, and later may cause explosive fits of rage, or depression. Let yourself feel the burning energy of that anger, and visualise it, as vividly as possible, as a hot flame cleansing you. It can help to have someone you can talk to. For more physically inclined people, a punching bag, or hitting your pillow, can be an effective release mechanism: visualise, as vividly as you can, that you are striking back at the cause of that anger. “But next time, when you get mad, just remember this quote: ‘Those who anger you, conquer you.’ It’s basically saying that when you give someone the power to make you mad, or let it get to you, it’s like they’re controlling you.
When I realized that, it made me mad, so I try to control my anger and not let people see it. You can still control your anger without being walked all over. You just have to draw a line.” Try saying to yourself, in your mind: “I am fire! I am ice!”. Repeat for as long as it takes for you to calm down sufficiently. Anger management is addressed in much more detail than can be included here, in section 4, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and practice daily, one of the relaxation methods in sections 11, 2, 2.c, or 2.i Most people find the progressive muscular relaxation simple, and it can be done in several minutes. Others prefer to repeat a word, like “easy” in their minds, or a short phrase, and focusing your attention on your breath is another technique. You will know from the ease of use, and effect, which suits you best. The EFT, in section 53, is worth trying, too.
A variant of Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing therapy, which has been used successfully for those people suffering from anxiety: it is easily learned, quick to use, yet can be very effective, is on page N, of section 6, and I use it before the relaxation techniques, because I have found that it makes them quicker to employ, and more effective. These will enable you to emotionally centre yourself, when practiced regularly. Yoga, and/or T’ai Chi can also help you become a calmer, more self controlled person, who is less influenced by the behaviour of others. Books: The Anger Workbook – a 13 step plan to help you. – Les Carter & Frank Minirth. – Minirth Meier Clinic Series. and Anger Management For Dummies. – W. Doyle. PhD. – Gentry. Try your library, local bookstore, or http://www.amazon.com/ for these.
Imagine, as vividly as you possibly can, that your anger, fears, your self-recriminations, all the agonizing “I’m-so-Stupids,” and “I’m-too-fats”; every painful “I-can’t-I-have-it” or “I-can’t-do-it”are huge raging, hurtful bulls snorting and charging at you.
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Ideally you would look into some professional help. If that’s not an option I would look up some resources online about coping methods for anger so that you can learn some techniques for controlling your emotions when you feel things starting to slip out of control. Depending on your situation, you may have good reasons to be angry, so the idea is not necessarily to not be angry anymore, but to effectively manage your emotions. Hope that helps.
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How do we control our anger? We cannot control how and when we get angry but we can control and choose what we want to do with our anger. If we know that we fly off the handle easily, there are ways that we can do to manage it….read more here on how you can control your anger;
http://selfempoweredwoman.com/36/why-we-get-angry-and-how-to-control-anger
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Kill a fly. It is actually a very good release.
Those writing angry letters and whatever don’t work, I don’t feel any release.
Kill a fly, I tried it. If you’re worried about pain or mercifulness then do it quickly.
End it’s misery etc.
Go hunting, etc. I don’t know.
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